Oh Captain, my captain

A loving reminder from the boys of Pearl Jam

Love boat captain

Take the reigns,.. steer us towards the clear.

I know it's already been sung,... can't be said enough.

Love is all you need,.. all you need is love,..

Love.. Love...

Love.

The benefits of K.I.S.S.ing

We've all heard the phrase "Keep it simple stupid"... which I prefer to render "Keep it super simple" as the word "stupid" does little to inspire me.  We know that simplicity is desirable.  It can greatly diminish unnecessary toil, confusion and even heartache.  But how often do we stop to consider why this is actually the case?

Simplicity omits the clutter. It gets to the heart of things, cuts to the chase, and shows what's really going on. Simplicity is beautiful. It's a direct path to meaning. It is clear and straightforward.

On the other end of the spectrum, we've heard people explain a situation or relationship by saying, "It's complicated."  Some people even pride themselves on being complicated and wear the description as a badge of honor.  In such cases I often wonder if what those complicated folk mean is that they are complex.  Being complex is something altogether different than being complicated.

Complexity connotes depth, richness, a harmony of elements and so on.  Think of a favorite dish or wine or song.  These very well may be described as complex.  They may also be incredibly simple.  That which is complicated takes on a whole other set of characteristics.  Situations and concepts that are complicated tend to be rife with tangled webs of disparate elements, running amok on needless tangents, often with their own agendas.  Complication bears little resemblance to harmony or unity... or peace.

Simplicity is available to us all here and now.  It doesn't matter what patterns of thinking we've adopted or what we've been taught.  We can all begin to embrace simplicity in our thoughts, words and deeds.  It may seem like effort at first.  But once we've gotten into the swing of it, we'll see how simple it was all along.  And as a result, we'll experience harmony, simply.

Fallout

Yesterday I had a falling out with a pair of people I care deeply about and have known for years.  This was completely unexpected, especially since throughout the course of these relationships we've experienced no real discord to speak of.  The silly specifics of the situation don't deserve repetition.  The main thing at this point is determining what to do now.

Have you ever been in similar straits?  Feeling misunderstood... maybe even maligned... having your motives and actions called into question... or worse yet, did you take the bait and react to any of it?  What can we do when relationships appear strained or even broken?

In truth, I'm not exactly sure what to do next in my current situation.  But I do know that pointing fingers and adding fuel to the accusatory fire will do no good.  It's said that there are two sides to every story... but that sets the parties in the relationship on opposing sides!  That is precisely the point of contention where I am going to pitch my battle.  These dear ones and I are not foes in a war of wills and hurt feelings and, dare I name it, egos.  We are people who care about each other and have allowed a meaningless miscommunication to steal our joy, peace and goodwill.

Well the buck stops here.  While things settle down I need not just sit around and wait for tempers to cool.  I can actively love all involved (including myself) and see each individual in the best light possible -- the way I saw each prior to the nonsense.  We truly are all on the same side.  And it's the side of love.

More than a Label

Designer clothing labels, nutritional labels, personality disorder acronym labels... profiling, stereotyping, judging, assuming, gossiping.... We are surrounded by labels as well as the incessant temptation to affix them to people, places and things.  This can be helpful if one is looking for a music genre... and downright life-saving if one has a food allergy.  But what good is done by attaching labels to ourselves or our fellow man?

I have long very blonde hair.  Do I think of myself as an airhead or bimbo?  Hardly.  My paramour spends most of his timing being of service to others and has (*gasp*) no day job.  Do I view him as a slacker?  Not remotely.  Many of the labels we superglue to one another may seem innocuous enough, but may actually be more insidious than we realize.

Nevermind Sam. That's just the way he is.  
You know Mom... 
Susan is such a ditz. 
Joe is so opinionated.  
Kyle's late again. 
Chris is always so impatient.  
Dear Lorraine means well. But she is just so disorganized.  
I'm fat.

Sound familiar?  It may not be easy—in fact it may take exhausting vigilance—but peeling the labels off of one another will do more to beautify and add value to mankind than the most exclusive designer accessory ever could.  And underneath those labels, we'll have the pleasure of seeing ourselves as we really are.  And nothing could be more attractive.

You're Highered!

Your qualities can't be measured by quantities
by Joy deVivre

Ceiling of the Sistine Chapel
by Michelangelo

"A workman is worthy of his hire." That's an age-old adage, familiar to readers of The Bible.  I used to understand this to mean that we should all expect a fair wage for the work that we do.  But that is not my current take on this phrase.  I have pondered occasionally how the idea of being adeqautely compensated for work done applies to volunteer projects.  Does the phrase imply that engaging in pro bono activities does not show appropriate respect for our talents and efforts?

Lately, it is dawning on me that the idea of being worthy of our hire has little to do with wages and compensation, and much to do with embracing our talents and allowing them to be fully utilized.  Certainly, the workman is worthy to be hired -- meaning surely each person's talents and skills are valuable and deserving of use ie employ.

My new business brainchild looks to be a niche enterprise... only, no one knows exactly what niche it fills as there is nothing exactly like it to which to compare or liken it.  Does that mean it is not a valuable undertaking just because there are not scores of people banging down my cyber door?

Many of the things I enjoy most are not considered favorites of the masses.  I am a classical music devotee and live in the biggest radio market in the country, Los Angeles.  Yet, there remains only one classical radio station in all of California, and that one is subscriber-supported.  The bulk of the listening public prefers country, followed by rock, pop, hip-hop etc.  I especially enjoy ballet and opera.  But among the small ranks of 'artsy' folk, only about 3% of the people who attend museums, musicals et al have indicated an interest in opera or ballet.  If you analyze the numbers, the popularity of  both of these art forms looks to be nil, and their futures grim.  As a result, do they view themselves as being unworthy or even unpopular?  Hardly.  Those involved in these classic arts know what they've got, and it is sublime. They understand their work and its worth is about the quality of what they are doing, not the quantity of people who embrace it, nor the amount of money generated.

As it applies to my own new venture, as well as the bulk of my activities, which are nearly entirely conducted on a pro bono basis, I intend to go forward with more confidence and even greater altruism, understanding that what I am doing is of great value because it is done with inspiration, obedience to revelation and that inner-compass which never misguides, and with a deep desire to bless others.  This is a higher calling than any offered merely by a high-paid salary or large fan base.  I am happy to be a niche enterprise, and know that no matter how small the niche, I will cheerfully fill it plum full to the best of my abilities.  For I most certainly am a worker, and worthy of my hire.

Nothing can take love from you... ever!

This little darling sums up my friend
perfectly -- blonde, young at heart,
a ballet dancer, and a pinkaholic! 

The person who has known me longest (other than my own family, all of whom are gone) just passed this week.  It was sudden and unexpected, and has given me a great deal to think about -- for some reason, more so than when other loved ones have moved on.  Perhaps this is because of her exuberant and indomitable expression of life.  To be honest, it doesn't feel like she's gone anywhere!

I started thinking about the fundamental reason that death is so difficult for humans to bear.  It occurred to me that perhaps it is in great part because we feel that love has been taken from us, never to return.  The situation seems so final, so hopeless -- especially since we are unable to do anything about it in the way of bringing back the loved one lost.  Here in the U.S. we've always been known for our can-do spirit and fundamental belief in the victory of good over evil.  Our true heroes always win.... in the long run.  So even if things look bleak and messy and impossible for a time, we still expect that everything will be nicely sorted out in the long run.  And so when a dear one passes it is tempting to feel downright helpless, if not fatalistic.

But the good news is that the love itself is never lost.  All the joy and beauty we shared with our loved one stays with us and is at our disposal to take out and cherish whenever we feel the desire.  When a friend or family member is out of the country, or at the office, or in the next room, we do not burst into tears because they are gone.  We know that even though they are not in our physical presence they still care about us and know we care about them.  And that affection does not change or diminish just because someone goes out of our sight.  And so I am going to go on loving and thinking about my friend, just as I would if she was going about her usual business... and just as I do about dear friends that I have not managed to stay in contact with as I should.

The bottom line is we are loved.  And nothing can make us feel otherwise, unless we choose to let it.  And I, for one, choose to side with love and joy, both here and hereafter.

Be less

We always hear about how success in life demands doing more.  Whether this refers to doing greater things or doing more of them, the consensus is that we need to 'accomplish,' in order to be someone deserving of admiration -- to be 'more.'

My business' Facebook page celebrates a theme each week, and this week we are looking at Fictional Heroines.  When considering the topic, my first thoughts went to characters who were decisive women of action, such as Eowyn from Lord of the Rings, Elizabeth Bennet of Pride & Prejudice, The Scarlet Letter's Hester Prynne and, more currently, Hermione Granger of the Harry Potter series.

After my initial zeal over these beloved paragons had tempered, some other names came to mind.  The second wave of  characters didn't shout or brandish swords, but silently crept into my consciousness and sat well-behavedly, just waiting for me to get round to them.  These are characters such as Agnes from David Copperfield, Galadriel of Lord of the Rings and Melanie Hamilton of Gone with the Wind.  These are the female archetypes I have most desired to emulate in life.  

They represent, to me, all that is most noble in the human spirit -- incredible strength, goodness, wisdom, patience, virtue, selflessness, sacrifice for a greater good, and unquenchable loving-kindness.  They look for the good in others.  And whaddaya know... they find it.  Even if the people in question doesn't see it in themselves.  

They bring out the best in everyone around them.  And they do so with quiet dignity, grace and humor.  They need not resort to Machiavellian machinations or physical force.  They are far too powerful for that, as they possess 'deep magic' --the kind of love that Lilly Potter bestowed on her only son, Harry, which saved his life and ultimately equipped and empowered him to defeat evil incarnate.  That's the role model for me!

I admit, there are days when I feel far more Scarlet than Melanie, but as is part and parcel of every 'hero's journey,' there are challenges to be overcome as we come into our own and realize our own nobility and strength. So while the road may often seem long and tiresome, if not downright treacherous, I will trudge on in my quest to improve from within.  And I won't give up until my character is polished into something of which I can be truly proud, and of real lasting benefit to others.  After all, persistence and perseverance are the hallmarks of a true heroine.