How often have we asked that same question in reference to our lives, only to have a friend retort, "Don't ask that. The minute you do, things always get worse!"
As responsible adults we care deeply about the safety, well-being, security and futures of ourselves and loved ones. That is what makes us worth our salt as humans. Unfortunately, because of economic factors and health issues, many of us spend an inordinate amount of time fretting... ruminating... worrying... fretting some more... it can be a never-ending cycle.
But what exactly is it we are so afraid of?
Lack of funds?
Gasp...
What if you actually lost your home?
Or worse yet,
what if you lost all your money?
What if you lost all of your possessions... everything you'd ever owned?
To which, I further ask,
Do any of those things define you?
What's the worst case scenario... absolute worst case?
That you have nowhere to live?
I heard an interview with a homeless shelter worker who said that 'most' of those in the shelter actually had friends or family they could stay with... but for whatever reason, they chose not to.
Are you completely without any options as to where to live?
Are you utterly incapable of earning an income, even at the minimum wage level?
Do you REALLY foresee this as your permanent future?
If so, then you have some planning and problem-solving to do; otherwise you will have some challenging, uncomfortable hungry nights ahead. But... if on the other hand... you are not facing homeless foodless life on the streets, then your constant ruminating and fretting is doing you no good. In fact, it is most likely stealing the joy of the moments you devote to worry.
Most of us say that what we most want out of life is 'to be happy.' Given that fretting does not make us happy, perhaps that is where we should pitch our battle. Once we have gotten down to the brass tacks of what happiness is all about, by the time we realize that fine 'things', while pleasant, do not actually bring lasting happiness... by that time we will realize we are already happy and not care a jot for all of the trappings we used to spend so much time being concerned about not having.
hugs
J.
Mondays get a bad rap.
They are most often treated as the pariah of the week,
the unwanted step-child.
I don't get it
They are the greatest days ever!
They signal a new beginning, a fresh start, and a manageable one at that.
You get a new beginning each day too, but blink and you've missed it!
Each month brings the opportunity to start anew, but sometimes a month feels so heavy, big and ponderous.
And the whole new year thing can be downright depressing for many, if they look back despairingly at all the goals and dreams and plans and resolutions that stalled or perished during the year just completed.
But a week.... a week :)
It is 7 days, the number symbolizing completeness
and so it is an opportunity to have a complete and completely wonderful experience.
No need to fret what lays ahead of you or dread the ensuing hours till 5pm Friday. Each day is a gift -- especially Monday. So why not make the most of this wonderful day, this start of something new, this chance to love and be loved.
Happy Mmmday!
What did you do right today?
Yesterday I had hoped to do laundry, write a variety of blog posts, do a DVD dance instructional, practice choreography, do a ton of computer organizing, go through emails, go to the market, ride my bike to the gym, accomplish some domestic chores and prepare for an event I am running this evening.
Instead I found myself texting this to my soul-friend, "Having a tough day"... Mind you, the whole 'having a tough day' feeling is quite foreign to me so, that was odd to text in and of itself.
When the return text asked what was going on I lamented, "I unexpectedly had to bail someone out financially TWICE today and am wiped out now... My client promised a big payment today but wasn't able to manage much after all, missed 2 soft deadlines and still not done. May have to disappoint people and cancel my plans tonight. And I am out of shape and still not getting a chance to work out. None of that really counts though. Mostly a mentally tough day aside from all that. People keep calling for help in different ways and I'm not feeling on top of my game."
I realized I had not started my day on the proper footing. You wouldn't think to show up at work and dive into your daily tasks without getting dressed and brushing your teeth and getting your business tools in proper order. Well I had not taken the few moments needed in the morning to mentally and spiritually prepare for my day. Hence the 'tough day' text as the day's demands mounted.
I got a brief one sentence text hug in return, and was soon able to write back, "Got stuff turned in 2 hours before actual deadline, celebrated by making choco chippers from scratch, pulled out the crockpot and am making soup while I work, helped more peeps, placated those I am canceling on tonight, made someone's day, made a puppy happy, had a sweet mini-epiphany about a loved one. Now I'm going in to do some spiritual stuff as I have tea and fresh baked cookies. Then back into the fray, refreshed :)"
So what had made the difference? A few accomplishments and things ticked off a To-Do list? Those were pleasant, but the shift in attitude was brought about by my making a conscious effort to do just that... to shift my attitude. Every moment we all have choices as to how we regard our circumstances, the world condition, and reality. In fact, the choices we make about how we think determine our reality.... or at least the perception of it... which feels quite the same.
I once listened to a spiritual speaker who talked about the importance of looking back at our day and being thankful for what we did right. There is no lack of data on what we either failed to do, did miserably, or at least could have done better. But dwelling on those things generally gets us nowhere. All the world is telling us in no uncertain terms, and without cessation, where we have stumbled, or fallen short... and how badly... and how we must now suffer and do damage control as a result. Then our focus is taken away from productive activity and invested in wallowing or beating ourselves up or just re-playing records that need to be shelved to make room for cool, new music!
Of course, if there is something we have totally botched up, if we have hurt another or are in need of some serious lesson-learning, then, yes, pondering what we could have done better is invaluable. But as for the minutiae of daily life, if it doesn't get done one day, it will the next. You can break out the Swiffer tomorrow. It's not like the dust is going anywhere.
So tonight, when you turn in and reflect on the day's events and plan for those of tomorrow, why not forget ruing the day's past and worrying about the morning's future, and instead be grateful for the beauty and grace of the day you just had.... especially for what you did... right!
