Expect the unexpected... and expect it to be wonderful

Yesterday I had somewhat of a tough day.... actually a tough birthday.... I didn't hear a well-wishing peep from those I expected to hear from immediately.  One ended up texting me later to ask what I was up to. I mentioned it was my birthday and the only words I got in response were an apprisal of the unseasonably cold weather conditions in his neck of the country.

Then the person who had invited me out for dinner materialized hours later than expected.... with a to-go box.... containing my dinner ...... though I'd long since eaten.  He then darted off to go 'kick it' with his girlfriend whom he'd spent the better part of the day with.  Evidently he had a to-go order to deliver to her as well.


Add to that the fact that I could not take myself out to do anything celebratory since i am due a great deal of backpay, the bulk of which I was promised I would receive yesterday..... Put it all together and it was easy to fall into the pouty poor poor pitiful me syndrome... which I did... despite knowing better.

And then....... then......
I got a text
from a friend in India of all places
wishing me a beautiful birthday.
A friend who I had no idea knew when my birthday was and whom I've been missing for quite awhile.

And then......
I was chatting with a friend on Facebook... when the birthday came up ... when he sent this reply, "Sorry I can't be there to spoil you".... I've never had anyone say anything like that to me before.  It floored me.  I have said that to a few people... and meant it... but to be on the receiving end was very humbling.

And then....
if that wasn't enough,
I received this message from a a friend I'd only recently been getting to know "You're remarkable, funny, brilliant and beyond beautiful. Beyond beyond! Happy Birthday, Joy!!!  So happy to know fabulous you!"

And then....
I realized how fortunate I was... how the love I craved was there... I had just been looking in the wrong places, and wanting it from the wrong people.

And now....
I am a little bit wiser than I was earlier in the week... when I was younger :)
and I am grateful for the gifts of grace and kindness I received for my birthday -- gifts that will remain with me and mean more to me longer than any boxed item ever could, no matter how pretty the wrapping.

gratefully yours...

For You... from the Universe

"Life is the flower for which love is the honey." ~Victor Hugo

I posted a status update on Facebook this morning asking what I should blog about today.  A sweet friend suggested I just let the topic come to me... so I did... 
And what came first was the idea of flowers.
This is not surprising to me... that I should immediately think of flowers when considering a blog post about love.
Flowers, to me, are the most perfect examples of the beauty of the universe,
and how loved we are by our creator.
They are rife with metaphors that touch on every aspect of the human condition.

So today I leave you with a question, as opposed to my usual homily.
What do flowers tell YOU about how loved YOU are?

Please take a moment not only to stop and smell those roses, but to reflect on what they are telling you.  I would love to hear what 'comes' to you! 

joyfully yours...

The Gift Tray

Yesterday on my Facebook page I asked friends what I should blog about today. My classy, gracious, and obscenely talented friend Mary Corinne offered this:

"I believe we are born with a tray of gifts. These are the things we do well and enjoy. Never look on someone else's tray and try to BE them by employing those gifts. To be happy is to explore your whole tray and spend your life honing each gift. I have small gifts...ie...I love to iron, sew, wash clothes, mop floors, weed, organize all the stuff around me, smile, laugh..."

After getting to know her a bit, I can tell you, even the smallest of her many gifts is a treasure. 

How wonderful and heartening to know, I mean truly KNOW that EACH one of us comes with our very own individual tray of gifts.  We all have a different assortment.  Even those we have in common, such as humor, are still unique in the way we express them.  Perhaps the best parts about these gifts are the facts that we all get to share and enjoy each others!  I was agog to learn that someone as creative as Mary Corinne loves to iron and mop floors and I immediately sent out a huge shout of gratitude to the heavens for everyone who loves to do those things.... I don't think I've worn well-pressed clothes since living under my mom's roof. Fortunately, I have a dog on which I conveniently blame my slovenly appearance.

But you know, there are things that I enjoy that others find tedious.  I used to write html code as a way to wind down and relax after work; and with that gift have been able to build a number of websites for friends.

This time of year is a perfect opportunity to recognize and be thankful for the gifts that make us US -- and to strive to hone and share them to a greater degree with each passing day and year.  You have so much to offer.  You are such a gift.

joyously yours...

When it's okay to regift

Not sure what to give your loved ones this year?
Especially those who have every 'thing'.
We all want to offer presents that are unique, fresh, inspiring and magical..... and frankly, ones we can afford.
So how about regifting?
........... Do I sense furrows and frowns at the thought?


What if I told you could give everyone on your list gifts they would carry with them every day, gifts that would cause the recipients to silently thank you every time every time they enjoyed your gifts... gifts that would enrich their lives for years to come... gifts they would never need to dust!


Imagine being able to actually give out things like creativity, love, kindness, warmth, humor, friendship.  Who wouldn't love to receive those?


The best news is these are gifts you already have in your possession.  We've all been born with gifts that are particular to us in the way they are expressed: our soulfullness, beauty, talent, intelligence, thoughtfulness and so on.  These are gifts too precious and desirable not to share.  In fact, it would be just plain selfish to hoard them!


The people in your world truly wish for what you have to offer.  Ask them, and I think you'll find that many will say, all they want for Christmas...
is YOU!


joyfully, gratefully yours...

Cymbals of Love

Evidence that we are loved is not always as obvious as a clanging cymbal... 
sometimes it is just a feeling of contentment from within, without a specific 'reason'.

A dozen red roses - Quick, what comes to mind?
That someone wants the recipient to know he or she is loved?
..... or perhaps that the giver is in the doghouse and repenting of some misdeed?


Our world is filled with precious symbols and reminders of love -- from a carpet of colorful wildflowers showing us love on a divine scale, to an I <3 U mug full of Hershey's kisses anonymously left in our cubicle... from a message strewn across the sky for all to see, to a simple silent pat on the knee.  We all appreciate these tangible, visible proofs of affection.  But what if someone lacks outward displays of affection?  Does that mean they must live a life without love?


Hardly... and that is because the love is not IN the symbol used to show it.  Love is in our hearts -- the hearts of both giver and receiver.  And so it can no more be taken from us, anymore than our loved ones'  affection can be taken away once the flowers they've given us have withered and been tossed in the rubbish bin.


This idea is not limited to romantic affection only.  This morning, a dear one was explaining to me how some work she'd arranged to have done on a property was taking longer than it should and, as a result, would end up costing her a lot of money, since she would not be able to rent the property as quickly and thus not have the income from the rent she could charge.  We have all been in similar situations.  They can be stressful and frustrating and sometimes all-consuming.


I thought for a moment about her situation.  Everything she said made perfect practical sense..... Then I thought a bit more deeply to get to the real root of the issue.
OK so why would she want the work done more quickly?  To be able to get the place rented.... to be able to get the income from renting it.... In other words, to have more money.  And what good would more money do her?  Well, she would not be so strapped financially.  She would have cash to pay bills, buy Christmas presents, shop for a nice holiday outfit, go out on the town without having to count her pennies, and put a little away in savings.

I went still deeper.... Why would she want all those things... What would they do for her?  Well, the extra money would take away stress and give her greater peace of mind.  It boosts our literal sense of self-worth and esteem to be caught up on our bills.  It makes us feel good to show our love to others by giving them gifts picked out specially for them.  We feel like a million bucks when we get to dress up in a smart new outfit. It is freeing and validating to be able to go out socially without the worry of financial restraint looming overhead; and having some money in savings lets us breathe easy and enables us to be less apprehensive about the future because we are at least somewhat financially prepared.


So, among other things, money is a symbol of the way we want to feel... that is a topic too irresistible not to discuss in depth.... but later.... For now I merely want to point to its relevance to our example.  In essence, my friend wanted that extra money because of the way it would ultimately make her feel, as described above.  Yes, money is a wonderful symbol of love, but it is just that.... a symbol.  What if you could have the love, the peace of mind, the sense of incredible well-being without the money?


I have less money and 'stuff' than I have ever had in my life.... and I have never been happier or felt more secure.  Why?  Because instead of money, that lovely symbol of love, I have the Love itself -- the love that no robber or stock market crash can take away... the kind of value and worth that is not only permanent, it compounds daily.  This is better than the gold standard.  It is the LOVE standard.  I am finding that my happiness has nothing to do with having more stuff or money or even a romantic relationship; rather I have less want and need, because I am already full up with love.

And so I would tell anyone struggling with lack this season, whether it is lack of funds or affection, to turn away from the symbols of love in favor of going to the source, which is always within.  You will find you are overflowing with love, and you will find ways to both give and receive it.... and that is true economy!

with so much love,
Joy