You're Highered!

Your qualities can't be measured by quantities
by Joy deVivre

Ceiling of the Sistine Chapel
by Michelangelo

"A workman is worthy of his hire." That's an age-old adage, familiar to readers of The Bible.  I used to understand this to mean that we should all expect a fair wage for the work that we do.  But that is not my current take on this phrase.  I have pondered occasionally how the idea of being adeqautely compensated for work done applies to volunteer projects.  Does the phrase imply that engaging in pro bono activities does not show appropriate respect for our talents and efforts?

Lately, it is dawning on me that the idea of being worthy of our hire has little to do with wages and compensation, and much to do with embracing our talents and allowing them to be fully utilized.  Certainly, the workman is worthy to be hired -- meaning surely each person's talents and skills are valuable and deserving of use ie employ.

My new business brainchild looks to be a niche enterprise... only, no one knows exactly what niche it fills as there is nothing exactly like it to which to compare or liken it.  Does that mean it is not a valuable undertaking just because there are not scores of people banging down my cyber door?

Many of the things I enjoy most are not considered favorites of the masses.  I am a classical music devotee and live in the biggest radio market in the country, Los Angeles.  Yet, there remains only one classical radio station in all of California, and that one is subscriber-supported.  The bulk of the listening public prefers country, followed by rock, pop, hip-hop etc.  I especially enjoy ballet and opera.  But among the small ranks of 'artsy' folk, only about 3% of the people who attend museums, musicals et al have indicated an interest in opera or ballet.  If you analyze the numbers, the popularity of  both of these art forms looks to be nil, and their futures grim.  As a result, do they view themselves as being unworthy or even unpopular?  Hardly.  Those involved in these classic arts know what they've got, and it is sublime. They understand their work and its worth is about the quality of what they are doing, not the quantity of people who embrace it, nor the amount of money generated.

As it applies to my own new venture, as well as the bulk of my activities, which are nearly entirely conducted on a pro bono basis, I intend to go forward with more confidence and even greater altruism, understanding that what I am doing is of great value because it is done with inspiration, obedience to revelation and that inner-compass which never misguides, and with a deep desire to bless others.  This is a higher calling than any offered merely by a high-paid salary or large fan base.  I am happy to be a niche enterprise, and know that no matter how small the niche, I will cheerfully fill it plum full to the best of my abilities.  For I most certainly am a worker, and worthy of my hire.

Nothing can take love from you... ever!

This little darling sums up my friend
perfectly -- blonde, young at heart,
a ballet dancer, and a pinkaholic! 

The person who has known me longest (other than my own family, all of whom are gone) just passed this week.  It was sudden and unexpected, and has given me a great deal to think about -- for some reason, more so than when other loved ones have moved on.  Perhaps this is because of her exuberant and indomitable expression of life.  To be honest, it doesn't feel like she's gone anywhere!

I started thinking about the fundamental reason that death is so difficult for humans to bear.  It occurred to me that perhaps it is in great part because we feel that love has been taken from us, never to return.  The situation seems so final, so hopeless -- especially since we are unable to do anything about it in the way of bringing back the loved one lost.  Here in the U.S. we've always been known for our can-do spirit and fundamental belief in the victory of good over evil.  Our true heroes always win.... in the long run.  So even if things look bleak and messy and impossible for a time, we still expect that everything will be nicely sorted out in the long run.  And so when a dear one passes it is tempting to feel downright helpless, if not fatalistic.

But the good news is that the love itself is never lost.  All the joy and beauty we shared with our loved one stays with us and is at our disposal to take out and cherish whenever we feel the desire.  When a friend or family member is out of the country, or at the office, or in the next room, we do not burst into tears because they are gone.  We know that even though they are not in our physical presence they still care about us and know we care about them.  And that affection does not change or diminish just because someone goes out of our sight.  And so I am going to go on loving and thinking about my friend, just as I would if she was going about her usual business... and just as I do about dear friends that I have not managed to stay in contact with as I should.

The bottom line is we are loved.  And nothing can make us feel otherwise, unless we choose to let it.  And I, for one, choose to side with love and joy, both here and hereafter.

Be less

We always hear about how success in life demands doing more.  Whether this refers to doing greater things or doing more of them, the consensus is that we need to 'accomplish,' in order to be someone deserving of admiration -- to be 'more.'

My business' Facebook page celebrates a theme each week, and this week we are looking at Fictional Heroines.  When considering the topic, my first thoughts went to characters who were decisive women of action, such as Eowyn from Lord of the Rings, Elizabeth Bennet of Pride & Prejudice, The Scarlet Letter's Hester Prynne and, more currently, Hermione Granger of the Harry Potter series.

After my initial zeal over these beloved paragons had tempered, some other names came to mind.  The second wave of  characters didn't shout or brandish swords, but silently crept into my consciousness and sat well-behavedly, just waiting for me to get round to them.  These are characters such as Agnes from David Copperfield, Galadriel of Lord of the Rings and Melanie Hamilton of Gone with the Wind.  These are the female archetypes I have most desired to emulate in life.  

They represent, to me, all that is most noble in the human spirit -- incredible strength, goodness, wisdom, patience, virtue, selflessness, sacrifice for a greater good, and unquenchable loving-kindness.  They look for the good in others.  And whaddaya know... they find it.  Even if the people in question doesn't see it in themselves.  

They bring out the best in everyone around them.  And they do so with quiet dignity, grace and humor.  They need not resort to Machiavellian machinations or physical force.  They are far too powerful for that, as they possess 'deep magic' --the kind of love that Lilly Potter bestowed on her only son, Harry, which saved his life and ultimately equipped and empowered him to defeat evil incarnate.  That's the role model for me!

I admit, there are days when I feel far more Scarlet than Melanie, but as is part and parcel of every 'hero's journey,' there are challenges to be overcome as we come into our own and realize our own nobility and strength. So while the road may often seem long and tiresome, if not downright treacherous, I will trudge on in my quest to improve from within.  And I won't give up until my character is polished into something of which I can be truly proud, and of real lasting benefit to others.  After all, persistence and perseverance are the hallmarks of a true heroine. 

The chicken and egg make peace

Egg shell sculpture by Kyle Bean

The whole chicken/egg conundrum can easily drive one to distraction.  A case can be made for either side, but in the end does it really matter?  Is it not more important that both exist?  And frankly, if physicists are correct in their assertions that our concept of time and sequence is inaccurate, then there would be no coming 'first' for either one!

The same sort of cause/effect questions may be found in many aspects of life.  Does success bring us happiness or, in truth, does happiness bring us success?  Psychologists' surveys and research suggest the latter.    

Given that our attitude has such a tremendous impact on our wellbeing, happiness, and enjoyment of any activity in particular, it stands to reason that we can expect to be happy and joyous no matter what our general circumstances.

So then does this mean that we should not do the things we love most?  Not let our light shine in our own unique and essential way?  Not at all.  It simply means that we can be happy and enjoy ourselves whether we are writing the great American novel or doing the dishes; whether we are watching our child take his first step or changing a flat tire; because we can find the beauty and grace in the moment -- and bring some of the loveliest aspects of our character to bear on any situation.

As for the things we love to do most, I have often pondered whether we enjoy the things we excel at because we are good at them, or is it we excel at these activities because we enjoy them..... It is at that point that chickens and eggs begin to dance around the periphery of my thoughts.  

One thing I do know with certainty is that we all have gifts; and these gifts are meant to bless and bring joy to ourselves, those near to us, and those from afar who are benefited by who we are and what we do.  And so it is actually not a bit selfish to give consecrated thought to what we enjoy most, what about our character and talents we enjoy most; and then go after ways to employ those gifts and talents.  For if we cultivate and use the tools in our individual bags of tricks we will find we are so happy and content and productively active that we no longer see an issue of chickens and eggs.... just joy and purpose for all, regardless of their stage of life.

Transforming the commercial into the sacred

Valentine's Day is known as one of the most commercial, in-your-face, shallow, guilt-laden themed observances in America.  Lovers take exception to the idea of being told when and even how they should profess their love... and if they fail to do so, according to Hallmark's and Zale's mandates, clearly they care not a jot for their so-called sweetheart.

I have friends who dread the day and view it as a searing and bleak reminder of the dearth of love in their lives.  But to all lovers... and by that I mean all who express and feel that sweetest of sentiments -- ie love, affection, fondness, admiration and the like -- I say Valentine's Day can hold great promise and fulfillment.  

Just as I view Thanksgiving as a day set aside for the sole purpose of celebrating gratitude and acknowledging our many (and often overlooked) blessings, I view Valentine's Day as a celebration of love in all its forms, certainly not limited to that thrilling, but frequently fleeting and chimerical form of love known as romance.

And so I invite everyone who has someone whom they value and appreciate, be it a mate, pal, family member, co-worker, a pet, crush from a distance, the dutiful gardner, the cheerful barista, tireless nurse etc, to take pause on future Valentine's Days to let these dear ones know how much they are adored.  Doing so could make someone's day.  It could change someone's perspective. It could even save someone's life.

For you

Heart Nebula IC1805

"I love you

with every fiber of my being.

I have always loved you 

long before I knew you existed

most likely, long before I was even born.

You don’t complete me.

You show me how complete I already am.

You bring out the best in me, yes

but that best is so much better than I ever imagined.

Love without condition

love without pretext

love without possession

without definition -- 

the kind of love that can prevent wars

end world hunger

and keep the stars in alignment --

a kind of love they haven’t written about 

because no words have yet been cobbled to adequately describe it.

Before you I was aiming too low

dreaming too small....

What can I say...

to me

you are

it!

And I am proud, honored, humbled and awed to love you

and always will be.”

~C.H. Hastings

Woops

Things don't always go as planned.

When I got married I went to extraordinary lengths to make every little detail special not only for my husband and me, but for our guests.

And yet.......
things didn't turn out quite the way we'd intended.... despite the fact that I used to work as a a wedding and event manager and had planned hundreds of events... far more elaborate.

For one thing, the cake was completely botched up... a story in and of itself.. (and no, the one pictured was not mine... thank goodness).
The wrong ice sculpture arrived. Our cream puff swans never got baked... as I realized when I found them still raw on a baking sheet atop the oven range hood when we returned from our honeymoon....
But ya know what?  None of that mattered.
And actually, it all made for amusing stories later.

It is dawning on me, that when it comes to our personal affairs, interactions at the office, or... perhaps most challenging of all... committee work, it is not nearly as important that things go efficiently, turn out spectacularly, or even that we earn money or make a big splash or do fine work.  What really counts is how we treat each other in the process.  THAT is what makes for real and lasting success.. the kind that softens and improves our character... the kind that can change the world and economic priorities.

Having a sense of humor doesn't hurt either... and thus, I give you, my all-time favorite wedding fail.