Truer Colors

Have you seen those memes making the rounds that talk about how a person's true colors come out if they treat you badly at a time when you're going through something challenging and you're not behaving perfectly?

I've seen oodles of them, written in various forms, but sharing the same sentiment. Whenever I come across one of these thought-provoking posts, I wonder, "What about the people who are treating you badly? Don't they deserve to be given as much slack for their reactionary 'bad behavior' as you do for your behavior in the first place?"

The way I see it, we are all, yes all, doing our best in this life, and if someone doesn't respond or react the way we want, we can either write them off as 'toxic' and not worth keeping around because their true colors are so ugly and unappealing, or we can do just the opposite. We can take a moment to realize that they, like us, are going through something challenging and that we all deserve some slack.

People don't mean to be insensitive and unkind, and it doesn't feel good to be this way. So when someone responds to your crisis in a way that you feel is inappropriate, you have the opportunity to take the high road and elevate both of you.

After all, if we don't love and buoy each other, who will? It doesn't matter what the other guy is doing. It matters what you're doing. And what you can do is to go deeper in your understanding of unconditional love so as not to take perceived slights so personally, and to embrace the ones who react negatively to your struggles, cuz clearly, they're struggling too.

When the dust settles, we'll be better be able to see and discern the real colors of those around us ... and we'll find their beautiful.

Why you deserve the high ground

I was thinking today about some of the abject resistance I've been facing as it relates to my efforts to do what I truly believe to be right and good. The struggle has been ongoing and nearly constantly fierce. During a moment of reflection on the situation, the words high ground quietly came to me. I'd read Sun Tzu and was well-acquainted with the military tactic, but felt I should go a bit deeper with it.

I looked up the term on Wikipedia and was bowled over by what the online reference site had to say. When reading the following excerpt, try to gain a fuller understanding of how the principles outlined can apply to your own life and the struggles or resistance with which you yourself may have been grappling:

High ground is an area of elevated terrain which can be useful in combat. The military importance of high ground has been recognized for over 2,000 years, for example in Sun Tzu's The Art of War, in which military leaders are advised to take high ground and let the enemy try to attack from a lower position. Fighting from an elevated position is easier for a number of reasons. 

Holding high ground offers an elevated vantage point with a wide field of view, enabling surveillance of the surrounding landscape, in contrast to valleys which offer a limited field of view.   

In addition, soldiers fighting uphill will tire more quickly and will move more slowly, while soldiers fighting downhill may not get tired as quickly, and may be able to move faster. 

Furthermore, soldiers who are elevated above their enemies can get greater range out of low-speed projectiles like rocks, javelins, and grenades. Likewise, low-speed projectiles will have less range when thrown uphill.

6 ways to fill an empty heart

Do’s and don’ts to regain the joy of life.

1. Stop being critical. Criticism closes your eyes to the good that has always been yours. Critical states of thought lead to critical mistakes, as well as cause critical states of the body.
2. Stop keeping score. It is not what others do but how much divine goodness you express that will ultimately satisfy you.
3. Stop trying to prove you are right. Instead of telling others you are right and they are wrong, live what is right and your life will begin to sparkle.
4. Start forgiving. Forgiveness means starting over with love. It wipes the slate clean. Forgive yourself and others. Forgiving others is about your peace of mind, not about absolving someone else’s responsibility for wrongdoing.
5. Be grateful. Be grateful for everything good in your relationships and in your home. Gratitude completes the circuit in healing. It awakens you to the magnitude of your divine life. Pain and gratitude are incompatible.
6. Be honest. Honesty allows you to be at peace, even in the middle of unrest. It keeps you strong. “Honesty is spiritual power. Dishonesty is human weakness, which forfeits divine help.” (Mary Baker Eddy – Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures)

Originally posted as 6 SIMPLE THINGS – HELP FILL AN EMPTY HEART BY KEITH WOMMACK - NATIONALLY SYNDICATED COLUMNIST ON HEALTH, THOUGHT AND SPIRITUALITY. Keith’s columns originate at: KeithWommack.com

Vulnerable No More

Finding romantic love is one of the most fulfilling feelings a human being can experience.  But what happens to the heart, soul and psyche when love turns to abuse? When the very person who should love and protect you, instead, attacks and harms you?  In your own home?

Violence against women has been a hot topic for some time. Whether the headlines tell of Arab women being stoned or professional athletes pummeling their mates, the maltreatment of women is making news.  And people are crying out, not only for justice, but for an end to reprehensible behavior.  Here's a PSA featuring many of the Law & Order cast, along with a few other celebrities who took the time to lend their voices to make our world saner.

On a much more diminutive scale, Siren School, the entity that publishes this blog, channels a portion of all proceeds to its philanthropy The Untouched, created to benefit women who have experienced domestic abuse. In their own words:

"Domestic violence requires both a villain and a victim. We strive to remove the victim from the equation."

Take part in any of Siren School's fun and festive programs and you'll be helping to put a stop to domestic tyranny, one siren at a time.

Because abuse doesn't discriminate

Oh Captain, my captain

A loving reminder from the boys of Pearl Jam

Love boat captain

Take the reigns,.. steer us towards the clear.

I know it's already been sung,... can't be said enough.

Love is all you need,.. all you need is love,..

Love.. Love...

Love.

The benefits of K.I.S.S.ing

We've all heard the phrase "Keep it simple stupid"... which I prefer to render "Keep it super simple" as the word "stupid" does little to inspire me.  We know that simplicity is desirable.  It can greatly diminish unnecessary toil, confusion and even heartache.  But how often do we stop to consider why this is actually the case?

Simplicity omits the clutter. It gets to the heart of things, cuts to the chase, and shows what's really going on. Simplicity is beautiful. It's a direct path to meaning. It is clear and straightforward.

On the other end of the spectrum, we've heard people explain a situation or relationship by saying, "It's complicated."  Some people even pride themselves on being complicated and wear the description as a badge of honor.  In such cases I often wonder if what those complicated folk mean is that they are complex.  Being complex is something altogether different than being complicated.

Complexity connotes depth, richness, a harmony of elements and so on.  Think of a favorite dish or wine or song.  These very well may be described as complex.  They may also be incredibly simple.  That which is complicated takes on a whole other set of characteristics.  Situations and concepts that are complicated tend to be rife with tangled webs of disparate elements, running amok on needless tangents, often with their own agendas.  Complication bears little resemblance to harmony or unity... or peace.

Simplicity is available to us all here and now.  It doesn't matter what patterns of thinking we've adopted or what we've been taught.  We can all begin to embrace simplicity in our thoughts, words and deeds.  It may seem like effort at first.  But once we've gotten into the swing of it, we'll see how simple it was all along.  And as a result, we'll experience harmony, simply.

Fallout

Yesterday I had a falling out with a pair of people I care deeply about and have known for years.  This was completely unexpected, especially since throughout the course of these relationships we've experienced no real discord to speak of.  The silly specifics of the situation don't deserve repetition.  The main thing at this point is determining what to do now.

Have you ever been in similar straits?  Feeling misunderstood... maybe even maligned... having your motives and actions called into question... or worse yet, did you take the bait and react to any of it?  What can we do when relationships appear strained or even broken?

In truth, I'm not exactly sure what to do next in my current situation.  But I do know that pointing fingers and adding fuel to the accusatory fire will do no good.  It's said that there are two sides to every story... but that sets the parties in the relationship on opposing sides!  That is precisely the point of contention where I am going to pitch my battle.  These dear ones and I are not foes in a war of wills and hurt feelings and, dare I name it, egos.  We are people who care about each other and have allowed a meaningless miscommunication to steal our joy, peace and goodwill.

Well the buck stops here.  While things settle down I need not just sit around and wait for tempers to cool.  I can actively love all involved (including myself) and see each individual in the best light possible -- the way I saw each prior to the nonsense.  We truly are all on the same side.  And it's the side of love.